September 11, 20149 Comments

by Deborah Smith Parker

DAVIDAs a result of learning this good stuff I’m now relatively at peace with the male of the species–as long as I remember these simple principles. Rather than regularly wanting to run down my personal representative of the gender in the driveway, I can appreciate him for what he is. This comes not from weariness or running out of weaponry, but from study, from clearer understanding of the differences between men and women. I wish someone had let me in on this much earlier in my life. I might have listened, but I kind of doubt it. In any event, I’d like to pass on some of these simple but life altering discoveries:

• Men are not psychic. They have to be told. They don’t mind being told, even repeatedly, as long as it’s done nicely. But they have to be told.

• Men are more generous than women. Before you women jump down my throat, just think how many of you and how many of them regularly come home and hand over a paycheck to a spouse or partner and say, “here.” Women are better managers of existing resources—seeing that everyone at least gets something—which is why we get the reputation for generosity, but it isn’t all that deserved.

• Men do not swim as freely in the deep emotional waters as do women. In fact, most are usually over in the wading pool. If a woman wants emotional support, she should seek it from her women friends.

• Men live in hope. If they get too much of what they want something in them dies. The same is true if they get too little. Remember, it was men who created the myth of the unattainable woman.

• Men are not, as a rule, complicated. If a woman finds herself involved with one who is, she should dump him immediately. Being with him will only lead to unhappiness.

• Men can, on occasion, experience bad sex. But not nearly to the degree or frequency that women can.

• When a man says a brief sexual fling “didn’t mean a thing,” he’s not being accurate.

• Men can be very tender, more so than women. Women win in the gentleness department, but men are more tender.

• When a man voluntarily does a lot of things for a woman, he is telling her he loves her.

• Men are as vulnerable to a woman’s emotional beating of them as women are to a man’s physical beating. The damage is equal.

• A woman loves to watch the man she loves engaged in his work, especially if it’s something physical. It is his superb singular concentration, and though he may not be focused on her at the moment . . . he will be. When she learns this, she can be patient, and then he will more than likely make it well worth her wait.

Comments? Love to hear them.

Deborah Smith Parker writes on a wide range of topics in many styles. She is the author of the newly released book “The Horse that Haunts My Heart” and her earlier release, “Humanus Astrologicus,” both available in paperback and Kindle on Amazon. To follow her on Twitter (@astro_logicus) and Facebook click to the right of this post where you can also click to receive her astrology blog.

About author:

Deborah Smith Parker is re-writing the often impenetrable language of astrology into a much friendlier form. She has spent her 30 plus years as an astrological consultant, writer, teacher and lecturer freeing the rich astrological images and their descriptions increasingly buried under modern clinical and technological descriptions. Her additional work in public policy has provided many outlets for demonstrating her ability to break down highly complex systems into information that’s easily understood.

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  1. Jim Hennum says:

    Where do I get one of these? Oh, wait – I am one! lol (not sure all of the attributes apply to gay men,however.)

  2. Jill Estensen says:

    For me, this is the most important statement that you make:

    • Men are as vulnerable to a woman’s emotional beating of them as women are to a man’s physical beating. The damage is equal.

    I don’t agree for myself with the last statement about watching him work….I do not like to watch my husband work. I do however LOVE to jump for joy at the results of his work!!! Excellent piece Deborah!

  3. Lady, you have some real Aries cajones! Congratulations on not only attaining the wisdom to write this, but also the willingness to publish it. Probably every woman’s experience of men is a bit different, but these are words of wisdom that are worthy of a “viral” (in the sense of the internet) share.

  4. Andrea says:


    I simply love your writing, perhaps your next book should be about this subject.

  5. This was very interesting. Though I completely disagree with “Men are as vulnerable to a woman’s emotional beating of them as women are to a man’s physical beating. The damage is equal.” The damage is not equal. A person’s emotional response is a choice. A person may feel hurt but at any moment in their life going forward they can reassess what was said and look at how it conflicted with their own story of who they think they are, how it challenged their ego or view it in the light of the other person’s circumstances. But getting punched in the face in an elevator, held hostage in a basement for years, getting raped in your own bedroom are all damage beyond anything that one person could say to another person.

  6. BarryG says:

    It was in my early 40s when I finally began to evolve as a man when I realized women were just “smarter” then men; it was right in front of me, but sometimes recognition of the most simplest facts are hard to see.

    Deborah’s “really good stuff” in fact barely touches the surface, but gives a perfectly refreshing view from an obviously evolved woman, and I agree with all her premises which, for me, were hard fought in come by, in a lifetime of loving, caring for, and sometimes hurting some incredibly beautiful women, all of whom I still love.

    @Donna contradicts herself and, in doing so, shows she still leads with an “us against them” attitude. Of all of Deborah’s points above, none is more accurate and — I admit being surprised to find a woman actually aware of — then Deborah’s statement about the equally harmful effects of emotional battering.

    Regardless of the perpretrator or victim, male of female, the effects of emotional battering is beyond belief. I have gone through it myself and it was no less than being beaten up every day it occured. What @Donna is not recognizing is that all the women she quotes as physically beaten — all had the same choice I had — to walk away. Unfortunate fact is many women stick with their abusive male partners — just like Shanay and Rhianna, et al. For myself, a physical beating I could stand, but the emotional ones completely debilitated me. Choice is what it is all about.

    Also, @Donna, to bring in “captivity” issues are extreme examples and really have nothing to do with the collectively conscious statement Deborah makes.

    “It’s the Love that loves enough to have a need to give” is a quote from a lost lecture of a woman named Ann Davies, which I work at living by these days.

    Finally, having one’s woman help organize the finances is such a blessing I cannot say enough about. It brings forth great trust and relationship unity. There are many women and men who just cannot do it and, as always, this become the root of other problems.

  7. Candi Sary says:

    This is wonderful, Deborah!

  8. This is like looking into a mirror for me. Can never be said enough.

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